What do you know about this type of love called self-love? Love for yourself? Why is this love crucial and importance for our existence? Why do we need to love ourselves first as our neighbors? How does one love thyself? Please help make sense of this term. How does one who is known to be selfless i.e. puts himself or herself last while others first, learn to switch this concept around? How do I get to be simply stingy for me, myself and I? Wait, that does not make sense. I have to be selfish to become more selfless and loving of my neighbors, huh??? I don’t get it.These are the words and thoughts that run through my mind daily, and of recent in the past few years. I have come from a place of meeting needs and desires of people over mine, like a leader does, to now needing that service for just myself. I have reflected on my life both inside and outside, and seen that although this selfless ability of mine is a humble and desired leadership trait, it is imperative to understand that there is a fine line between loving and putting myself first, and others. To get energized and burned up for what I love, I need to go back to the drawing table aka the master plan, aka the blueprint to re-strategize, get boosted, and motivated for this calling. I have found myself being on the back burner many at times for not having enough self-love and cheating myself out of ample opportunities and experiences just because I AM NOT STINGY.
I realize that over the years, I put things within my capabilities till last minutes because it is do-able and achievable with provided timeframe after everyone. As a result, I have gotten so used to this methodology that it is synced into my head mentally and has become a way of life. Wow! It took me forever to realize this. Crazy, I tell you, my friends. I HAVE CHANGED. I caused this change as a result of the religious practice of this supposed selflessness of mine. Now, I turn in things just on time or a little late, with that being acceptable for me because I know I’m good and there are no consequences. LIES! I’ve become too confident that I accept a meager fraction of anything to be okay for me. I’ve accepted to cheat myself out of love and life. I’ve accepted the concept and purposely allowed myself to be cheated due to this non-stingy characteristic of my personality and integrity.
At this point, I have reached my yield point, I cannot take it anymore. I need a break, a change from this madness. It is maddening enough just as I write this out. For change to occur, the habitual cycle or pattern has to be disrupted. Oh daughter, why have you wasted your youth age to be cheated out of your share will and luck? Being stingy is okay. You need to love yourself first, then can pass this love onward and relate with others. You need to renew this your love more regularly by DOING YOU FIRST. Daughter, do not care about the world’s opinion about your new step, decision and changes to happen. You need to love yourself FIRST. No one else would do, except you. From there, people would see this love and appreciate it. Only you can believe in your sole being and existence, not me or your father.
“When you believe in yourself, you have 100% of the people you need on your side.”
So how do I become stingy? By simply putting yourself first, literally. Not your family, spouse or friends, but YOU. It is okay to say no and don’t feel bad about it. Yes, it is irrational initially, but it would worth it. Do everything you need, want and love for and by yourself, unapologetically. It would be hard, been that it is not your thing but would love it.
While being stingy, get to appreciate and utilize time alone for yourself. Do some meditation, pick on new skills to learn e.g. language, sewing, knitting, cooking, painting, reading, sports etc. Travel alone, get lost and explore places, have the bed or food to yourself, go on a cruise, take chances, have fun, enjoy life……you should get my point by now. This is what I’m currently doing while finding myself again with love. Worrying less about others if it does not pertain to me, and let life take its course. By this quest for self-love, I’m affirming such desire through actions and engaging activities.
I indulge you all to take this self-love and stinginess act with me. It’s like being a kid again, and not concerned about anyone. Just doing you all day, 24/7 with no stop or pause button. It’s on your term lovelies. Try it for yourselves, and do let us know how it is below in the comment box. I would love to hear from you all.