Before we begin, let’s just get one thing straight… joy and happiness (in case you’re wondering) are not the same thing. Well- similar, with their only difference being: duration and source. Unlike happiness, when you have joy like this (and I’m not talking about that mirage, in the form of happiness, that you think you felt after your first date- you know what I’m talking about), you don’t need to get it from anyone or anything, for it’s already preexistent. Joy is obtainable, so rather than just give you a guide to find happiness, we refuse to cheat you out from the next best thing: joy. Don’t be one of those people who pursues happiness, for the faster we chase it, the more fleeting and difficult it becomes to obtain. There are a few things that are within your capabilities, when it comes to obtaining this and they require that you, first of all, are willing to grant yourself permission to feel such things. Keep reading, this need to grant oneself permission will be later closely elaborated as you read further. Joy isn’t achieved overnight, but it certainly lasts for years, if you want it to. These tips, are meant to help you work on yourself and the areas in your life that are hindering you from this beautiful experience of inner peace, which is often termed Joy. Shall we begin!?[disclaim] Keep in mind: Below are just some ways that we have found permanent joy in our own lives, and while we understand that there are many other methods, these seem to be a few of the best and most highly recommended methods to live by. Feel free to write in the comment section, any methods that you have for rediscovering joy [/disclaim]
Compare Not & Judge Only Yourself
This is my favorite advice yet because this was the particular advice that someone gave me that caused my joy to sky-rocket. Joyous people do not judge others because they themselves do not like being judged by others. Nor do they compare themselves because of their lack of. Joyous people are content with what they have and with who they are and they understand the notion that while there will always be someone who has more ability and material possessions than they do, this information does simply nothing for them: it does not grow them or change their own circumstance, so for them, it’s like “why bother caring about what others have in comparison to what you do”. Rather than compare yourself to people who are doing magnificent things (doctors, writers, YouTubers, etc) be a doer yourself and not just a spectator. You never know what you’re capable of achieving, unless you actually try at something great. Joyous people are happy for others and easily able to encourage them without feeling envy towards them. They understand the importance of being equal and doing away with this false sense of superiority. They recognize that the success platform is big enough for everyone (who wants it bad enough) to achieve and rather than hold a grudge, judge or compare themselves to everyone else, they don’t hold information that would better another persons life. If you ask me what I am wearing or where I purchased a particular piece of clothing (my friends and total strangers can attest to this), I will not hold this information from you. Just imagine how cute we would be as twins, rocking the same outfit; talk about a beautiful sight: I meant the two beauties to my right:
Don’t rely on other people to make you happy:
Earlier, we mentioned how the only real difference between happiness and joy was it’s duration and source. The beautiful thing about one with joy is, it doesn’t come from any source but their inner soul. Happiness is fleeting and relies on the contributions of people and from what I know from existing in this world, people will always disappoint but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love them; it simply means that we shouldn’t depend on them as much as our inner soul (this inner soul for many Christians is God). You must stop expecting people to fill voids in your life and to be your source of strength, happiness and joy. Truth is, they are trying to obtain it as well, so rather than be led by the “blind”, search yourself and hold yourself accountable for your own joy and your own self-worth. Let’s use the example of someone cutting you off on the road or spitting at you in an altercation: those people, if you allow them to affect your level of inner peace will have just that: an affect. In allowing them to change your mood and tamper with your personal realm of joy, you are giving them permission to steal this very joy- something, they were not the source of, to begin with. So, rule of thumb, show them that you are far better than they are and they have no access to tampering with your joy. One more thing, if you want joy girl(boy)friend, then you’ve got to stop blaming people for their actions towards you, because you have in your control the ability to alter their affects on your state of being. People will be people, but you must refuse to allow them any access to your joy. It’s as simple as saying “no”.
Stop Be a ‘Yes Sir’
You can’t please everyone, nor is it your life’s purpose. It is not why your mother gave birth to you and breastfed you for 6-10 months straight. If you are a walking pleaser, then you need to reevaluate your life’s work, for there is more to life than living to please everyone in it. You’re only cheating yourself out- think about it, while other people are pleasing those who REALLY matter to them, you’re here trying to please them and everyone else… so remind me again, how you are being pleased in this equation? I know a few people pleaser in my life, but one in particular was unknowingly changing before me. This guy loved making every one happy, but when you looked at him, he looked so miserable because he hadn’t yet realized that people can never be satisfied. So, he had exhausted himself trying. Learn to say no, does not make you a bad person, it just makes you a person in control over your life.
Learn to Laugh
Your face is not sealed so tightly that you cannot laugh, so why are you crunching your face all the time and adding years to your life, in the most wrinkliest of ways possible. Aim to be joyous in laughter and who knows, perhaps you’ll have that effect on someone, enough to make them crack a smile. Joyous people understand the therapeutic significance of laughter and are prepared to laugh all by themselves, if they have to, because like I mentioned before: nothing and no one has the right to steal you joy, unless you allow them. Don’t get me wrong, there are those people who fake a laughter, as a form of coping… no, no, I’m referring to them, but rather I am talking specifically about those who genuinely see the fun and funny side in life and aim to not let their situations define them.
Tackle Fears Head On
When you have joy, you have battled some pretty serious demons- so much so that you now refuse to let anyone or anything steal what rightfully belongs to you. As children of God, we were not built with the spirit of fear, so when joy is present, fear is a nonentity. By facing your fears, you are taking back control over your inner peace and equipping yourself with an arsenal of bravery, declaring that there is nothing that will ever stand in-between you and your joy, that you can’t take care of. One who lives in fear can never be at peace; take an escaped convict, for example: when they are on the run from the law, there is no joy present in cowering and having to watch your back every 10 seconds or more. In order to be joyful, you must fight for your freedom, in the same way that your ancestors fought for theirs (okay, I take that back, maybe not to that extent- that would be drastic and quite interesting to watch actually)
Love Your Flaw & Know Your Worth
Hold onto your values and don’t compromise yourself for people who don’t put food on your table. How I see it is this: if you don’t love yourself sweetheart, then I have nothing to love. It’s like a person who gives you their winter coat and boots in the middle of a blizzard… does this sound sane to you? if anything, suspicious is more like it. So, love yourself, your flaws, and everything that you want someone else to love about you. English fashion model Cara Delevingne has taken her “flaw” (something that many of us would complain about and alter) to win the hearts of millions of fans all around the world. You are no different from her and beautiful are you who believes that your imperfections are just as beautiful as your perfections.
Embrace Your Inner Child
Have you ever just watched a child- such a care free creature, aren’t they? hmm, sometimes when I watch children simply be, I wish I could go back to those years where joy came easily, because the problems of the world had no affect on me at that age. Now, what if I told you that despite the world’s issues and even those of your own, that this inner child exists in all of us, would you believe me? well, it’s true. It only begs that you do that which you love. Being an adult and having bills are not proper excuses for why you can’t do what you love. Did you know that there are people who actually make a profitable living doing precisely what they love? That’s what joy looks like. It looks like a child at heart, one who knows how to live, laugh and love with an infectious playfulness that is untainted by the world, their life’s issues and negative. Don’t allow yourself to ever lose this side of yourself for anything. I recall the days where I used to work 12 night shifts and how bitter and tired and angry it made me, due to lack of sleep, but when I came to terms with its control over my joy, I fought back to remain myself even in the hardest of times. So, it’s very possible. No one and nothing can take what belongs to you, unless you allow them.
Stop Lying to Yourself
Don’t try to be happy for the sake of other people; eventually people will begin to recognize that you aren’t being genuine in your approach. Take some time in evaluating what bring you joy in your life and invest in doing them more and then and only then, will you rediscover joy.
Quite being so Negative
Joyful people are people who have been knocked down a few times in life, yet they refuse to return back to that place of despair. Learning to forgive is not easy, but it is necessary, for those who choose to dwell on the past are left there, in that very spot and in that very moment, where they made the conscious decision not to forgive and to let go. Don’t be one of these people. Life isn’t all that bad and until you come to realize this, despite the horrific one-sided news that you’re tuning into on a daily basis, the easier and more relaxed you’ll be existing in it will be. This forgiveness isn’t just for others, but also yourself. Regardless of what you may have done to another person, that is keeping you from being joyous inside, it’s time that you learn to forgive yourself over it. The more you dwell on it, the more you will be a prisoner to it. So, release it and allow joy to subsist in its place.
Give Yourself Permission
I’m sure you’re a terrific person- yes, you! and this new year that we’ve just entered is not the year for you to continue your old habits of being a spectator, while everyone else shines and blossoms and actualizes their dreams, so here’s what we’re going to do about this: we’re going to give ourselves permission to live, love and be happy. It’s not hard and while you want this for other people- which is great, if you don’t allow yourself to feel joy, it will forever hid in the secret places inside you and no amount of interactions, things and people can ever dig it up, for joy comes when only YOU allow it.