Growing Pains: The Friends we Lose Along the Way

Growing Pains: The Friends we Lose Along the Way

One of my good friends made a post that read“after twenty something years of living, I’ve realized, I’m not for everyone and some people are just not for me”. As I read the statement through my usual timeline scroll through, I couldn’t help but pause and contemplate on her simple yet profound words. My pondering led me to think about my personal path and the people that once “were for me” but are no longer and vise-versa and I came to the conclusion that losing people is part of the growing pains of life. I bet this sentiment isn’t mutual to just my unintentionally philosophical friend and me, but I believe everyone at some point or another can relate.

Let me draw an analogy my husband uses to make sense of such woes. He says: life is like a really long train ride to an unknown destination; everyone knows where they get on but our destination remains a mystery to all but the driver (i.e God). While on the train ride, people will hop on and make the train ride blissful or bitter but eventually, their time comes and they get off. Others may get on and stick it out for the long hall. The key is to not dwell on those that had to hop off; perhaps if they never did you wouldn’t get to your destination. Or just as bad, they may not be able to get on their own ride to get to theirs.

As we grow, these experiences are inevitable. If you’re like me your first instinct will be to dwell on it and dissect every little aspect of what you did wrong or what they did and what you could have done to keep them from leaving. The truth is, if someone’s’ role in your life comes to a halt, regardless of how meaningful that role is, you have to let them go. If you don’t let them get off your train when their time is up, you may be keeping yourself or them from reaching the ultimate destination.

I won’t sugarcoat it, it hurts when you lose friends, especially life-long friends, but DON’T dwell on it. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 which states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Here, God lets us know that though we may be uncertain, our future is secured. He knows your definitive endpoint, and he orders your steps accordingly. So, whether someone comes in or hops off your train ride, it’s all part of Gods master plan. The best and frankly only thing you can do is to pray for them and hope that their role in your life took you one step closer to your purpose.It’s crucial that we trust in Gods soveriengty! Adopt the words of Romans 8:28“we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”. It’s just part of growing up -happy growing, pains and all!




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