What happens when you’ve dipped so far into sin and you feel that there’s no possible way of turning back? When the shame and guilt that comes with knowing the distance that you are from salvation is getting to you? Before you get into a relationship, you want to first find God, then yourself and then your partner, but what often happens is that we seek out all the other things before seeking out our salvation and forget how intertwined all three elements are. When you have God, you are more bold in identity and that boldness and assurance is what gives us the courage to try to identify ourselves in another, who is quite similar to us. But what happens then when sin ruins what God had planned to be of good? The answer is to go back to step one: Get God, get you, get the other person.
Yes, I hear you, you’re probably reading tons of articles on the web trying to make sense of what has happened and how you can reprimand it all, but in the end, the answer is clear: you’ve got to make things right with God. Whether you choose to be in the relationship with the person who you have sinned with or not, you still have to make things right with God and get your convictions back in order. Your ultimate focus shouldn’t be on making your relationship work, but rather the focus should be on how you can please God in all your relationships, from your ministry, to your career, to your involvement in your family and many more.[pullquote width=”300″ float=”left”] Man says: show me and I’ll trust you, while God says: trust me and I’ll show you -Psalms 126:6 [/pullquote]
Forgiveness comes not through us, but through Christ. So, before you can even move an inch in any relationship that you’re in – whether your decision is to end it or not, you must confess your sins before God, ask for forgiveness and return back to God through walking as he would and making sure to not repeat the same acts. You have to make it right with God and get your morals and convictions back on track OR you’ll find yourself going back into the same old habits in the heat of the passionate moments. If you choose to depart from your partner though, this too is an okay thing to do because your intentions are in the right place. It is better to be in an intimate relationship with God, than in one which doesn’t include him. It is important to be honest with yourself and with God, for when truth is spoken in love, the holy spirit will ultimately guide the outcomes, but the loving support of a person without truth, opens wide the gate for the continuation of such sins, with far more devastating outcomes, if I might add. The beautiful thing about our creator is this: Christ is always there calling you back to your first love, which is him, so you must believe that returning back to him after repenting and choosing to sin no more, is an available option.
Meanwhile, for those who still choose to be with their partner, it’s vital that the both of you be on the same page about where you stand with God, the future of your relationship and your set boundaries, moving forward. The moment you leave room for interpretation, believe that you will receive multiple interpretations. It’s possible to still be with your partner and try to make it right with God- but as mentioned before, guidelines must be set and you mustn’t place yourself back in that heated situation, which brought upon the shame and guilt you currently feel. That’s why it’s important for both people to be on the same page. Making it right with God doesn’t mean that you continue displeasing him, but rather that you are growing yourself in him and allowing it to display in every and all relationships that you’re in. In all things, remain prayerful and ask for Gods continuous forgiveness and the ability to keep you pure in him. Seek to live a life where you see God in everything and in every place. I would advice that you find a Godly couple who will hold you accountable to being sexually pure. It’s said that sometimes couples with the best intentions fall short, if they haven’t placed themselves under a couple who is spiritually able and willing to help them get on the right path. You can’t do it alone.
Both you and your partner should do things outside more often and in the company of Godly people, rather than in private- things that grow you, nourish your healthy desires, strengthen your mind and bring you closer to God. A few examples could be getting involved with a ministry or local charitable cause of your choice, in an attempt to keep your mind and intentions clean, reading books that ignite and call you to be godlier in your daily actions and less hypocritical, making it a routine to pray daily about being filled with a spirit to please God.
Some would even say a separation is good. Separating or cutting yourself off from the person or persons who are causing you to sin. If you feel like this sin will repeat itself once more, then separation is good; the choice is choosing a relationship with God over a relationship with this person. Before this happens, seeking the forgiveness of God, as mentioned above and the forgiveness of the other person is necessary before the distance and healing process can begin. Bottom line is, we can’t fulfill our destiny in God and still remain in sexual sin because that since, according to James 1:8 is like a double minded man, who is unstable in all his ways. So, it is time to make things right with God. Either you continue to date the person, with a mutual agreeance to walk in the way of the lord or a complete separation, for those who don’t even know what the way of the lord even looks like. The decision is yours, so thread carefully and choose wisely. Once you have made your decision, don’t apologize for it.